What Makes My Neverland...

I'm not going to pretend to be one of those wives who is constantly in awe of their husbands and thinks he's perfect. I'm not. I totally see the faults in Pan, and I have to admit that sometimes (probably far too often) I tend to point them out to him. We have our disagreements, and there are moments when I just have to scream or I just might strangle him, but then there are times like tonight.

Tonight I remember why I fell in love with Pan. It's not something in particular that he did that made me remember it. It's just that tonight my heart is overflowing with love for this man that came into my life and made my Neverland just what it should be.

Not everyone knows this - not because we've tried to hide it, just that it's not something that comes up in conversation - but Pan is not the King's biological father. Pan and I met when His Majesty was just my Prince of Wails, only four months old. We were so far from the people that we are today that sometimes I have to wonder what happened to me.

We met in the porch of Windsor Pentecostal Church. Friends introduced us, and ironically enough, the friend that introduced us was a guy that I was seeing at the time. Guess in retrospect it was a bad move on his part, but there was an instant connection. Some might call it love at first sight, others might call it pure chemistry. I don't know what it was, but alarms went off in my heart - the place that I had build solid walls around. The King's biological father had hurt me so completely that my heart lay in ruins. I was a single mom with a tiny little boy that needed me so much...I wasn't about to let someone come in and destroy me again.

That night we talked to each other so much that we scared ourselves. We kept trying to place distance between us. Pan was reluctant to let his heart get involved because he had an unnatural fear of children and he knew that I had a baby. But something happened because two months later, we started dating - but with rules. We were never getting married, it wasn't even a concern for us. We were best friends - who happened to be dating. No plans for the future. We'd just take one day at a time and see where it went.

We were engaged by July and got married 364 days after our first date. And I don't have a single regret. He is an amazing father to all three boys, a loving husband, and to quote Tami "deliciously gorgeous". I am the luckiest woman alive to have his love, and I don't appreciate him half as much as I should.

Once again, as I do so often, I have turned to music to tell my story for me. So here it is. For you, Pan. The man who changed my life. The man I could never live without. My love, forever.